


Let me be water

by stationlittle



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 16:24:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5672509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stationlittle/pseuds/stationlittle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ann and James meet after the Reaper War.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let me be water

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Non-Shepard Ships Week.  
> Title from the poem "What the Water Knows" by Sam Hamill.  
> Thank you to ammonialove and acequeenking for the help :)

It had been years since they last saw each other. It feels like a lifetime ago, actually, but Ann Bryson looks exactly the same. He notices her hair is as black as it used to be while his own hair is starting to become grey. 

She smiles at him, a sad smile he knows too well.

"Hello, Lieutenant."

He feels awkward having to correct her. "It's Major now."

"Oh," she says. "Congratulations. You deserve it."

It’s a genuine compliment and he nods, but doesn't feel like lingering on the topic. He sees she's wearing a uniform but not the one the science team wore during the Reaper War (the one he associates with the Catalyst, with indoctrination, with death). No, this is a new uniform and it looks good on her. It fits her. In fact, it feels like she belongs here. 

"I didn't... I didn't realize you were still working here."

She nods. "Yes. I've been here since... Ever since dad... Well, you know."

He knows. He was there when she was crying in the lab, before Shepard had come to see her. He had held her in his arms. He hadn't known what else to do to soother her. Afterwards, neither of them had said anything.

He wonders why he hasn't seen her before, but then again he isn't at those Alliance headquarters a lot. Truth be told, he misses the old ones.

"Hackett's not making you guys work too much, is he?" 

"Ah, you should know. He's not really the one who supervises us these days."

"Right." The topic makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't like to think about Hackett being too old to be the one in charge.

Ann looks like a thought struck her, and he braces himself for what she's about to say. He figures it's about Shepard, and he's right. 

"I wanted to tell you," Ann says. "About Shepard. I'm sorry."

He sighs, but he isn’t irritated with her. It’s not her fault. He just heard it before, too many times.

"People come and go in a war. You don't have to be sorry."

"No," she counters. "I know that. But... You were there for me when my father died. I wish I had been there for you when Shepard..."

She pauses, a sad expression on her face. He thinks he's never seen her happy, not once since their first meeting. She stares at the ground.

Seconds pass before Ann lifts her head to speak. "Somehow, I knew Shepard would save us. If someone would save this galaxy, it would be her." 

"Yeah, I know."

He coughs, can't help himself. He's been there, done that… But this is Ann Bryson, the woman who cried in his arms, the one who said _"I miss him"_ and _"This is unfair."_

He once caressed her hair and whispered little things to reassure her. Things like _"It's okay"_ and _"It's going to be alright, you’ll see."_  

She hadn't believed him at the time, not really, but had been pleased to hear those kind words regardless. 

He takes a deep breath before telling her: "I miss Shepard every day." And this is the truth. "But..."

He isn’t sure how to end his sentence. Ann ends it for him: "Life goes on," she says. 

"Yeah. Life goes on."

What else is there to do? He's been proud of what he's done so far, even if nothing is the same.

He's no longer serving on the Normandy. He has his own ship now, his own crew. 

He still can't believe it. 

"I'm glad you survived the war," she tells him.

"Thanks." He snorts. "I mean, I'm glad you're here."

They exchange a glance. "Fuck it," James thinks. It's not like this is forbidden, is it?

"You know, what?" He tells her. "I'm going to be here for a week or so. We're on shore leave. If you want to see me tonight, I'll be at the Moonlight Bar."

"Alright," she says. "I'll be there."

It sounds like a promise.

  
They talk the entire evening and leave the bar together. They both agree it would be better to find a hotel room rather than go back to the base.

An hour later, his heart is pounding in his ears as he penetrates her. Not slowly, no. It's brutal. Brutal, but not cruel. Her hands claw at the sheets, knuckles white, and she starts making those noises that drive him crazy. He keeps a steady rhythm, doesn't stop. In his mind, he isn't just fucking Ann, he's letting go.

Shepard's never coming back, she's dead. Ann's father is dead. A whole lot of other people are _dead_. People he knew, people he loved, people he was supposed to protect. And that's it. He feels like crying, but he can't. Not now. It wouldn't be right.

"James," he hears.

It's not a plea for him to stop. She's encouraging him to keep going.

He feels relieved that he's sharing this moment with her. He's always had a soft spot for her. A bit of a crush, really. It's kinda weird, how he always falls in love with damaged people.

"Fuck," he whispers.

He's so close. Ann's hands are on him now, one hand on each hip.

"Yes, don't stop!"

A sharp pain. Her nails.

"That's it," she tells him. She looks like she's about to come herself.

He hears his own breathing. He sounds like he's in the middle of a battle, running from enemies. He forces himself to calm down. To appreciate the moment, for what it's truly worth.

He stares at her. Her eyes are closed now but they open when she feels his gaze on her.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

No, he isn't, but he nods anyway.

"We can stop if you want," she says.

She sounds worried.

He wants to tell her it's not that. No, it's not their bodies against each other, it's not him inside her, it's just... Everything that is screwed up.

It's _him._

He knows he wants her to kiss him, to bring him closer to her, to put a gentle hand on his head.

Maybe later.

First, he needs to take care of this... He needs to give her pleasure. She seems like she's reading his mind, because her nails on his skin get sharper. A hint to keep going. He complies.

Soon after, she's having an orgasm. He wonders if she fakes it, but doesn't believe Ann is the type to do that.

His own pleasure is starting to overcome his body, and for a moment it's all he can do not to shake.

Finally, it's over.

He lies down next to her. They breathe.

She moves to put a hand on his chest. Without even thinking about what he's doing, he makes sure she's settled in his arms and starts caressing her hair slowly, in a comforting manner.

"You don't have to do that," Ann tells him.

He laughs. What else can he do? It is what it is.

"I know," he replies.


End file.
